A stop system you can remember
Build simple verbal and non-verbal signals before excitement makes full sentences difficult.
Simple beats clever
“Green” means continue, “yellow” means reduce intensity or check in, and “red” means stop the activity. These words are useful because they describe action, not whether someone has disappointed a partner. If speech may be difficult, agree on a repeated hand tap or an object that can be dropped.
Stopping is a skill
When a stop signal appears: stop, remove pressure, restore a comfortable position and ask only essential questions. Do not debate the reason in the moment. A calm response builds the trust that makes future honesty possible.
Try this: Rehearse each signal while fully dressed. Both partners should practice giving and receiving “yellow” and “red.”