Find words that sound like you
Build intimate language from observation and permission instead of borrowed lines that feel performative.
Begin with what is true
You do not need a new persona. Describe what you notice, what you want next or what your partner’s response is doing to you. Short, honest language often lands better than elaborate performance.
Agree on vocabulary
Words can carry very different meanings. Each person can name words they enjoy, words that depend on context and words that are off-limits. Never introduce degrading language as a surprise.
Try this: Make a five-word menu together: two affectionate words, two bold words and one phrase that means “keep going.”