Turn a label into an actual agreement

Discuss behavior, not identity

Name who, what, where and what happens afterward. Include safer-sex practices, privacy, messaging, disclosure, emotional involvement, spending, overnight plans and how either person can pause the agreement.

Plan for repair before rupture

Jealousy is information, not automatic proof that someone has failed. Agree on the first check-in, what reassurance is welcome and how you will handle an unexpected feeling without changing rules mid-event.

Try this: Each partner writes what “feeling secure afterward” looks like in concrete actions, then compare the lists.